A Poem. About Someone Else.

How many
Times will you not answer 
I love you
To hear nothing back
Silence in hallways that curve through 
A heart that shared
Our children’s breathe
Grew children in womb
Penetrated by your love
I’m toxic maybe
You say
But you won’t why
Why won’t you tell me the path
To get back to where we once were
Or somewhere 
new
Fresh sheets and states
Underwear and winks
Anything
I will be anyone
A new name 
A fresh Jon
New meal plan
Nothing
You want nothing from me
You say there is no one
You’ve destroyed my name
To our
Yes please hear
Our, and yours, family
Why? 
I wanted the truth and to protect
Those that are ours
The children that are innocent
Or were
 Before you drug them into a storm
Perhaps the storm brewed and it was loud and
I had my hands covering ears
And you had already built shelters
But I was naked with child
Waiting for you
And I didn’t see you
We’re not alone
If it’s someone or no one
It’s all the same
The with if you 
The trust of you
The warmth of you
The you
You
Are gone. 
I’m crying and you tell me
To stop
My eyes are but weaving
The worlds you are drowning
And I’m falling into couches
And alone
Afraid if your words are real
You lie
And you lie about lies
So I turn into a Fly
On a wall
I’m not even real
I heard a whisper once of me
A girl with a lot to offer
A woman you said was worthy 
And you left her
And then I was a fly
I am in a web stuck in your story
I wish I saw truth when it wasn’t so near
My stomach is tense and I shiver
As you turn towards me
Your words shatter
Everything
That was once the woman I was
I don’t know her anymore
I dream of escape or the final embrace
When you destroy me so totally
That I can’t feel again
But I fear 
For them
Your madness is thick
And heavy
And it can’t 
No more and
I can’t
Breathe
Breathe please
I will exist
I will a future
Hold me once more
And I’ll pretend I’m not dinner

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